A New Year's To Remember
by artemiswritesfluff
Summary: Rehashing of drunk and then hungover Jac, unresolved feelings and the drunken confessions trope. Everything is resolved at long last.
1. Chapter 1

Jac had been downing flutes of champagne all night to try and avoid painful chit chat and was now feeling the consequences. She'd retired after nearly falling asleep on Sacha's shoulder but was now cursing the ever so bright lights lining the corridors. Her head was spinning, splitting like crazy, her feet swerving oddly as she tried to find her room and a yearning starting to appear to be sick. A couple more doors down, she finds it although it takes her several attempts to manage to get the key card into the slot. She fell onto the bed and kicked her heels off. Unable to face turning the lights on in her room, she relies on her memory to get her to the bathroom where there's just enough moonlight to see the toilet bowl.

Slumped against the bathtub after the retching subsides her eyes flutter closed. The pain in her back flaring up as she'd gone without pain medication for so long, not that they'd have mixed well with the alcohol. She regrets not being back in time to ring Emma before she went to bed; stuck in her pain overflowing head she rarely feels more alone - then again Emma is on a completely different continents and Fletch is doing his best to avoid her so it's not far off the mark. Groaning she crawls back through to the bedroom trying to ignore the wave machine churning everything around. Jac grabs painkillers and a bottle of water from her bag and takes them before finishing the water knowing she'll be very dehydrated when she next comes round. She's out almost instantly after getting into bed.

BEEP! BEEP! Startled awake her head is knocked through with a sledgehammer, her sight going blurry. Realising the glow and incessant noise are coming from her phone she throws it across the room, in an attempt to shut it up. However she forgets that it's an inanimate object and that it'll make no difference to whoever is trying to get hold of her. Who the hell would be ringing her at this time anyway? She falls back to sleep whever this is because they gave up trying to get hold of her, she broke her phone or she was just so tired she doesn't know.

When she wakes up again the clock reads 11 am. The night coming back to her in bursts she realises why she feels so ill and why she'd avoided excessive drinking for so long. Remembering the early morning escapade of her phone to meet the wall she figures she ought to check and see if it still works or if it was something important that someone was trying to get hold of her for. In all likelihood a bunch of her colleagues decided to prank call her whilst insanely drunk.

It was intact, luckily, and was flashing to notify unread messages. When she turns it on she also sees that there's a voicemail left. She listens to that first.

"Jac? It's Fletch but you'll probably already know that (yeah she would've but she was tired and hadn't bothered to check). I guess I just wanted to talk to you, hear your voice even if you were telling me to stop being stupid and just get some sleep and leave you alone cause it's whatever time… oh it's 4… guess you're probably asleep then or invited one of your rich posh surgeon friends back to your room, not that I care, I don't , I think or at least I know i don't want to… just forget I said anything. Heard there was a party tonight, how did that go? Did you get all dressed up for it? Guess you did but you know I rarely see you all dressed up. That's unfair isn't it, I mean I think you'd look amazing and beautiful and itd hurt cos you aren't mine to look at like that. And you'll hate me for saying all this but it's true, you know it is! All that I don't remember stuff is crap! And I should hate you for it but I don't cos I still love you and could never hate you… I'm sorry. I couldn't sleep, I'm drunk and some wise brain cell of mine decided that why not call Jac, Jac the woman who rejected me and treats this all like a game, why not call Jac? Why not spill you're drunken sorry heart out to her and get rejected all over again. You know what? I'm sick of it. Maybe I can hate you after all. But I did, I did ring you cos somewhere deep down I felt alone and knew all I wanted was to hear you, to pretend that you were here with me and that I wasn't so alone and fucked up. I mean-"

Cut off by the answerphone he doesn't finish but Jac was still left with tears rolling silently down her cheeks. Yet another one to add to the list of those she screwed up. She was a mess; tangled hair, bloodshot eyes, smudged makeup and now mascara tracks running down her cheeks. All she'd wanted last night was for him not to hate her, to have been here holding her and apparently it's what he'd wanted too.

She decided to read the texts presuming there would be some from him as well as Sacha asking where she was.

Fletch:

-I'm sorry 04:15

-I didn't mean it like that 04:15

-Just forget I said anything 04:16

-Night Jac 04:22

-Happy new year everyone! 10:01 (obviously a group message…)

That was all he'd said. He was probably too drunk to mean any of it and as he pointed out just lonely. Shrugging off the hope she's felt earlier while listening to the voicemail she tried not to let it bother her. She didn't need him and even if she did she'd just break him. But she'd been so close to just throwing all reason away and taking him home. It wouldn't have been healthy for either of them.

Sacha:

-Where are you?

-The breakfast is amazing. Seriously get down here now.

-You ok?

-Drunk? Do I need to bring reinforcements?

She smiled, this was why she loved him. He'd managed to get through where noone else had and she didn't know how otherwise she'd be letting Fletch in the same way.

Jack:

-Hangover. Just woken up. Coffee would be great.

She replied back.

-Thanks Sacha

She added as an afterthought. Then she went to the bathroom to take a quick shower and hopefully waken up a little. The time would also be good to get her head straight. This thing with Fletch isn't going to resolve itself.

Walking out the bathroom she heard Sacha knock on the door so went and opened it. The coffee was heaven!

Once Sacha left her to go and pack she checked her phone to see if there were any more messages from him. There was.

-I'm sorry for everything. I was drunk and tired and I don't know what I was thinking. I know we're not going to be anything and I'm trying to move on. It's a new year new start put it all behind us and move on. Maybe I'll see if the new barista wants to go out! Not funny? I'm not really in the mood for it to be. I'm really sorry I am. I'll ask for a transfer, heard rumours of a new unit guess they'll want help there. Think you have a right to know first. 11:13

-Bye Jac. 11:14

He was leaving her. He was moving on. She didn't want him to move on, to give up on her, just as she was getting close to being able to admit she wanted him, he was leaving. No more chats, pizza nights, consoling Evie or competent scrub nurses in theatre. Would he avoid her if he saw her around work too? Avoid eye contact in meetings? She wanted to scream at him tell him not to go but she didn't know if she could get the words our, the words to get him to stay. So she settled on typing them.

-Don't 11:29

-Please Fletch 11:29

-I'm sorry 11:30

He read it two minutes later. No reply.

-I need you, don't leave me 11:35

The typing icon came up but just as quickly disappeared.

Half an hour later he was still ignoring her; she was getting desperate.

-Please 12:06

-I love you Fletch 12:11


	2. Chapter 2

She felt lighter having admitted it but fearful of his rejection so turned her phone off. It could wait till she got home, till they could talk face to face.

She collapsed on her sofa when she got home still dreadfully hungover and really too tired for any sort of human interaction but she needed to sort this out before it was too late or too soured. After debating back and forth in her head and deciding to ring him, she fell asleep.

RING! RING! What the hell! Who was ringing her doorbell at… half 5, half 5 in the evening? Sacha was working so it couldn't be him and anyone else would be to scared. Presumably it would be Jehovah's witnesses or some charity collection and they'd leave her alone.

No.

BANG!

"Jac!"

BANG!

Shit, it was Fletch.

She heaved herself to the door and opened so they stood face to face. Eyeing him up nervously she asked

"What are you doing here Fletch?" She asked as she eyed him up nervously, afraid to make eye contact, afraid of what she might see. His bravado seemed to have diminished now he was confronted with the sight of her too.

"Did you mean it? The texts did you mean them?"

"I don't know what you mean" she stuttered out protecting herself.

"You said you loved me Jac. Please look me in the eyes and tell me that you didn't mean it. That we can move past all of this."

"I can't. I can't move on. I love you Fletch, I do." She looked up to meet his eyes and saw them reflecting the tears in her own. "Maybe you should come inside. I'm cold with the door open anyway."

He stepped inside and closed the door. "You know how long I've wanted to hear those words from you Jac I really have." He caressed her cheek trying to reassure himself that she was real. "I take it you want me to stay on Darwin?" She nodded. "Would it be unfair of me to expect something, for us to at least try?"

"No… I want to. I want to be with you. I really do Fletch even if it goes against everything I know and everything I've learnt to do to protect myself. I just hope it's enough."

"It is. Can I kiss you?"

She laughed and pulled him closer, their lips meeting in an encore of a night a few months ago. This time noone was pulling away and after a few distractions they managed to make it up the stairs and into her bed.

A couple of pieces of men's clothing on the floor were enough to warn Sacha when he got in later that night. Not that he would needed it given the dawn chorus.

What an awkward breakfast that was…


End file.
